Defining Your Values
We learn our values very early on in life; they are formed through our social environment, parents’ teachings and childhood experiences. Values are deep rooted and are the things that (should) guide us towards what we view as important in life, both at home and at work.
When we are aligned to our values life is good, you will feel content and happy most of the time. Our values are there whether you choose to acknowledge them or not just remember when our behaviours and life choices are not aligned with our values it can be a real source of unhappiness.
Although deep-rooted values can be transient as different values move up the list in line with our life at any given moment. For example, at the start of your career money and status may be high up on the list, if you go on to have a family this may change. It will still be on your list of values, but may now be below family and work/life balance.
Step 1
Think about a time you were at your happiest; to ensure it is balanced, choose a time from your personal and work life.
Notice what you were doing, are you alone or with somebody? Did anything else contribute towards your feelings of happiness?
step 2
Think about a time you felt really proud; again choose a time from your personal and work life.
Why were you proud? Did others share your pride? Did anything else contribute towards your feelings of pride?
Step 3
Think about a time you felt truly fulfilled and satisfied; again with work and your personal life.
Notice what need or desire felt fulfilled, why did this experience give your life meaning? Did anything else contribute towards this fulfilment?
step 4
Establish your values based on you the times your felt happy, proud and fulfilled. Why is each of those experiences memorable for you? Please use the list I have provided below of the most common values. Aim to choose approximately 10.
Accountability, Accuracy, Achievement, Adventurousness, Altruism, Ambition, Assertiveness, Balance, Being the best, Belonging Boldness, Calmness, Carefulness, Challenge, Cheerfulness, Clear-mindedness, Commitment, Community, Compassion, Competitiveness, Consistency, Contentment, Continuous Improvement, Contribution, Control, Cooperation, Correctness, Courtesy, Creativity, Curiosity, Decisiveness, Dependability, Determination, Devoutness, Diligence, Discretion, Diversity, Dynamism, Economy, Effectiveness, Efficiency, Elegance, Empathy, Enjoyment, Enthusiasm, Equality, Excellence, Excitement, Expertise, Exploration, Expressiveness, Fairness, Faith, Family, Fidelity, Fitness, Fluency, Focus, Freedom, Fun, Generosity, Goodness, Grace, Growth, Happiness, Hard Work, Health, Helping Society, Holiness, Honesty, Honour, Humility, Independence, Ingenuity, Inner Harmony, Inquisitiveness, Insightfulness, Intelligence, Intellectual Status, Intuition, Joy, Justice, Leadership, Legacy, Love, Loyalty, Making a difference, Mastery, Merit, Obedience, Openness, Order, Originality, Perfection, Piety, Positivity, Practicality, Preparedness, Professionalism, Prudence, Quality-orientation, Reliability, Resourcefulness, Restraint, Results-oriented, Security, Self-actualisation, Self-control, Selflessness, Self-reliance, Sensitivity, Serenity, Service, Shrewdness, Simplicity, Soundness, Speed, Spontaneity, Stability, Strategic, Strength, Structure, Success, Support, Teamwork, Temperance, Thankfulness, Thoroughness, Thoughtfulness, Timeliness, Tolerance, Traditionalism, Trustworthiness, Truth-seeking, Understanding, Uniqueness, Unity, Usefulness, Vision, Vitality.
step 5
Now it is time to order your values by priority, which of your values do you value the most? You will need to dig deep for this part of the exercise and really reflect on what is most important to you.
Write down your values in no particular order; keep them alphabetical if that helps.
Look at the first two values and ask yourself “if I could only satisfy one of these values, which would I choose?”. It might be beneficial to think of a time when these values have come into play.
Work your way through your list of values this way until you are happy with the order of your list.
step 6
Review your list and make sure that the values you have chosen fit with your life and future aspirations.
Check in with yourself, do these values make you feel good? Are you proud of them, especially the top three? Are these values in line with things you would support, even if it puts you in the minority?